Have you ever come to a place in your life where you felt out of control? In fact, the harder that you tried to “gain control” the more chaotic things became? Not to be too philosophical, but one of my biggest fears is the unknown. I think a large reason why is because I can’t control it or plan for it, and I don’t know what expectations to have.
Most of you have heard by now that Linguæ Christi has switched to a virtual platform for our summer projects. This news, along with a few other things in life, has brought me to a place of mixed emotions. On one hand, I’m really excited to see how the Lord moves. Yet, on the other hand I am anxious that my heart will be broken from unmet expectations.
In one of the many conversations God and I had in the last few weeks, the word surrender came up and it caught me off guard. Surrender as defined by Merriam Webster’s dictionary means the following: (verb) to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand.
To be honest, this was the last thing that I wanted to hear, but it was exactly what I needed to hear. Surrendering is active, not passive. To surrender, I had to actively yield or give up my desire for control (which doesn’t sound like a logical solution in my perceived chaos). However, when I chose to take a step back and let go, I was able to see to whom I was surrendering myself; I was trusting my good and loving God who has good and perfect plans.
As much as I want to have everything figured out, and I want to know what to expect, the work I’m doing is not about me or my plans. It’s about God and glorifying His name in the here and now, which for me right now looks like surrender.
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.Romans 12:1 NLT